Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Statements that don't help me...

"Do you know how many people are dying of hunger, while you sit here sating you're full and you've barely touched your food?" My mum used to tell me this a lot when I was younger. In those days my food was served for me so I had no say in what portion I wanted. I can however say that whatever I was served was always enough to hold me until the next meal, I wonder how she always knew… That's beside the point though and the point is that statement.

Recently that statement has been on my mind a lot, I've been thinking about whether it was adequate or even useful. I mean, think about it, your mother probably used the same or similar statement on you, did it ever work? Or did you finish your food just so she could stop bothering and you could leave the table to go play outside or watch TV? For me it never worked and I knew I held out long enough she'd give up and chase me off the table with a stern warning not to come complaining of hunger before dinner or morning.

Another statement like this one which I hear a lot is "No matter how bad it looks/feels there's someone going through worse" I've come to the conclusion that like the earlier statement they do little to comfort or help the person that they are made to. I know because I've had this statement said to me and all I remember thinking at the time was"Yeah, really? So what? I don't feel that way and either way I don't know this person who has it worse than me. Why should I care about them now?"

This does mean that I didn't appreciate the concern it's just that that particular statement didn't work. I mean why should I care about nameless faceless people I'll never know personally? How would you know what that person is feeling? I mean perhaps they've come to terms with their situation, or maybe gotten used to it. I don't mean to be callous here but those are the thoughts going through my head whenever you say such things to me. Perhaps I am heartless, or do you actually feel I'm making sense here, sound out in the comments.

So what statement should you use in cases like this to remind people that it's never that bad? I feel in such cases it's better to give a personal example so that they can know at least you've had some similar experience to them. In my personal experience it's more soothing than saying someone has it worse than me. It enables you to bond over a similar sad experience, just as you would over happy ones.

Now I'm not sure what I'll tell me kid to make her eat all her food but I'm envisioning something with a cane and me suggestively tapping it against my thigh while glaring down at her.:-D Let me know what you think in the comments. Peace!!!!


P.S This post is brought to you because of @Duchess4life she asked yesterday why I stopped posting, that she enjoyed my posts(I smiled idiotically at this point and felt a flash of pride that always goes to inflate my ego) and I should post more. I don't have a good reason because I have everything I need to be regularly posting I'm just lazy I guess. I'll try to be better in future. Again peace!!!!

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