Monday, July 4, 2011

Dealing with platonic relationships with the opposite sex

This post is inspired by some tweets I saw in my timeline by shee_wanjiku. She was complain that one of her friends, a dude, didn't understand that she just wanted a platonic relationship and not anything else. She was saying that dudes need to realize that just because a chic is nice to them it doesn't mean she wants to jump your bones. There's also I heard somewhere on TV "There's no way a dude and a chic can be just friends" a dude told his date. I thought I talk about these things but in relation with what I've experienced myself.
I've said severally here that I'm someone who really enjoys the company of girls infact I can as far as saying that I have more girl than boy friends. I'm not entirely sure why that is. I'm by far more selective of my guy friends. I think it's an ego thing I get from the company of girls.
LOL!!
[http://www.suitqaisdiaries.com/]

So in all my interactions I've become aware of one thing. If I hang out with a girl for long enough I'll eventually, at some time, develop feelings for the girl. I only came to this realization recently and I've been blown away by it. It explains a lot that I didn't previously understand. I doubt if girls feel the same though but I can't be sure.

With this realization has come insight into my platonic relationships with my girl friends. If I don't want to develop feelings for these girl I shouldn't hang out with the for prolonged periods of time. But that can't work because despite what feelings beyond friendship I feel for these girls I genuinely enjoy spending time with these girls. So what's to be done.

Suppression. I mean I need to become aware of these feelings before they lead me to do something stupid, like making a move that will ruin a friendship with extreme awkwardness and embarrassment. Realising these feelings I should make an active effort not to let them, and their attendant thoughts, overwhelm my conscience. This seems like the best course of action, of course I'm welcome to suggestions so sound off in the comments.

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't make advances on your girl friends I'm just giving what to me seems a viable way to avoid ruining your friendships with girls. I'll leave you with some advice that a good girl friend of mine gave my while in school "If you think you may wanna hit that you'd better persue that, making your intentions clear from the begin than starting out pretending to be friends then trying to get into a relationship!!!"Peace!!

6 comments:

  1. Am with you an that. In my opinion, if you want a r\ship start a r\ship coz the "we are friends" detour paints an awefull picture of you.

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  2. I know and it's so very annoying too!

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  3. This may be worth looking into. You should check out the current postcast from Boise State University’s Beyond the Blue program (where I happen to have graduated from and now work with). Beyond the Blue is a program that highlights the educational innovation to come from the university.

    The current podcast is about the dynamics of a male-female relationship and the different stages it goes through. It’s a nice analytical look at a platonic relationship.

    Beyond the Blue can be found at http://beyondtheblue.boisestate.edu

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  4. I'll be sure to check out your podcast. Thanks for the link and comment
    Sent from my Nokia phone

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  5. Though, you also realize some relationships start after people have been friends for a while or in some cases years.

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  6. I get that but it's really rare

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