Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Questioning Week: Love and Friendship

I promised I'd do a post a day and I'm trying to do my best to do so. Today we actually start the very first topic of my questioning week, love. This seemly complex thing that we all seek after in one way or another.

My dictionary describes love as an intense feeling of deep affection or a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. But when ever most of use use it we're talking about out boyfriends or girlfriends and the second description. Even then its not a word we use casually.


It's something of a big deal to say something like "I love you" to someone we're dating. Peoople send a lot of time trying to discover whether they really love someone. Others obsess over when they'll final hear these three words, "I love you", from their significant other.

A long while back me and my best girl friend were talking aboout how freely I use the words "I love you". I told her that I could tell any chic I know that loved her. By know here I meant my friends. And she said I can't love them all and that I was lying to them but I asked her, "You and me are close, right? And you do you think I have great love for you?" She answered yes "Doesn't that mean I love you? And you love me back? So if I said I love you, I'm not lying am I? It's not my fault if the girl chooses to interpret that any other way or if she doesn't bother to clearify because she's scared of the answer. What you should ask be asking your boyfriend is 'Are you in love with me?' Anyway" I explained to her, "I have different levels of love for everyone"

I have a group of friends that I grew up with. And I really mean grew up with. We played hide and seek, had water fights and rode bikes together. As we grew older we somehow began clam down  and mellow out until a point where we did nothing but hang out at our spot in the estate we called "the Bench" and just talked and laughed and argued and fought. We  may not all still live in the same estate, we've scattered, others out of the country, but we still hang out when ever we can. I have lots of love for these guys, they've individually and collectively taken me through a lot.

These friends of mine have been with me for over 7 years! Surely they mean more to me than a relationship I've been in 6 months? My very best friend and I have known each other most of our lives. This is one friendship that has survived several long separations, 5 countries and 2 continents. Is this love anymore less serious than the one I'd feel for my girlfriend? So why is it we seem to send so much more time concentrating and working on the love we have for our gfs/bfs?

Why is it the words "I love you" seem to mean so much? Hasn't the use of this phrase distorted and diluted the true meaning of love? Is it wrong that I feel love for all my friends and choose to tell them using those words? Or am I confusing my feelings? Why isn't the word love used more often, to describe things like friendships. Why is it such a big deal when used within a relationship? Have you ever thought of this? Let me know...comment. Peace!!

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